not happy

--unhappy---

later i got dis feeling back..yeah..got back...after it has been long time not thinking about it.

so far.. i have finish my second paper today..got another 4 to go..huh...it's all ok about exam

the thing is..why i feel unhappy..i'm totally blur about dis...sudden think of future..sudden lose control on tempered..sudden weird thing happen...i don't know..

now..i'm bored..tension..frustrated..and the most one is..become sensitive..yeah it's another 'come back' i got. i have been a very sensitive person since i was young..be a kid...maybe because i'm the youngest..like everyone to follow my mind...maybe my parents pay more attention on me..then i felt like i can get everything i want...but i wonder dat not the reasons....i'm sensitive because i'm through a tough kid life...it too secret to tell..i wanna keep it...and keep it alone..just me and me know this..emm...then i felt that actually there ae no one out there can help me through my life...really2 help...everyone....yeah i mean everyone..have their own life..and try not to mess up their life by others. so, it's better to learn to settle things alone...i have been learning to live alone..for a while....but then i always got into someone..maybe family, friends...to be taking care...

for family, yes...i really love them all...this is a human nature...normal one...sometimes i do think to make them happy by my own..but me alone cannot work it up...they must work too..

for friends,emm...thinking hard....i don't know how many friend in dis world really2 care about friend?? some might say i'm not a person that like to care about others...no..it's not true...

i'm am very caring...can do anything to persons that always care of me.....and i only show this very2 care attitude to the PERSON THAT ALWAYS CARE ME ONLY. i wonder that i will never find dat kind of person to be friend with..for normal friend....then i will be very normal too.. because it's hard to find the loyal one..hurt when sometimes we think dat the person is the best friend..and the person betray...i'm not angry maybe...just upset..huhu

well, dat normal i guess..thanks god cause at least i have people that always listen to me..although i always like to keep everything on my own...just don't want people to think about my problem..don't want people feel bad on me...don't want to disturb their life...let me keep every single thing on my own...until i find the one that i trust to say it off...!!_!!